The old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be

Now my husband, Marc, may have string of faults and traits that annoy me (as I do for him), but the one thing he has always been good at is making me feeling good about myself -- my appearance. The other day I asked him, if he would still love me when (as it seems to be inevitable after nursing our first two children) I look like a woman out of a National Geographic article about Africa. Then the boy (sweet as he is and with full sincerity) said, "Of course! You're beautiful! You're so sexy!" and on and on he went. Needless to say, he made me feel a lot better!

So I've come to a few realizations. And all young moms/old moms/expectant moms/women who have gone through major weight fluctuations should read this.

#1. My breasts are not saggy, I just get to see more of the top of them and less (if any) of the bottom of them, than I have before. This should be seen as a new discovery of yourself. You're discovering more about that top half, and can put the underside to rest as a tired soldier who held up his own for the first 20 years of life and now deserves a rest.

#2. I won't be kicked constantly by the next babies we have, (resulting in many small bruises on my upper thighs), because when I nurse them laying down they really won't have to lay anywhere near my body.

#3. Kathy Bates in the hottub scene in About Schmidt is what normal women look like.

#4. I am still able to fake perkiness with the help of underwire, molded cup bras. Though I once thought they made my girls look unnatural, too perky, and akin to the bosom of "Leave it to Beaver"'s mom (and thus I deemed them the "60's mom bra"), I will now bow prostrate before the person who first molded those lycra cups and married them to the c-shaped wire.

#5. It was really very sweet and made my husband feel good when my son decided that he needed to turn his head 180 degrees while still nursing, and then latch off and smile every time my husband enters the room or makes any sort of movement near him.

#6. While watching the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine are trying to figure out if the girl at the club (played by Teri Hatcher) had fake breasts or not and in the end ditches Jerry saying "They're real and they're fantastic", my husband snickered when I referred to my pair saying "They're real and they're flat-tastic".

#7. I have merely graduated early into the elite league of motherhood. And I shouldn't feel bad that this has happened so early in life (while still in my mid 20s). Rather I should revel in the fact that I will be able to see the same sagginess make its way upon my daughter(s) and probably my granddaughters, whereas those who wait until later in life, will never be able to point and laugh at so many future generations.

Now. Doesn't that make everyone feel better?