Family Trips

We're going on our first family road trip in a few weeks. Driving to the Okanagan and maybe Vancouver and taking our time getting there. I'm excited about it, though with a crying 3 month old and 2.5 year old who somewhere learned the phrase "are we there yet?", I'm sure it won't all be fun.

But I'm still excited about it. And tonight I went out and bought Madeline some things to give her on the trip. We're going to buy one of those car dvd players, so I bought her the new Winnie the Pooh "Heffalump" movie (we rented it for 3 days last week and she already has it memorized -- accents and all!), a new Dora dvd, and "The Tigger Movie" because it was cheap. I also got her a couple of activity books and a few little toys. I have these romantic notions of how she's going to play with all of these toys and be so excited about the movies, and how we'll stop and have a picnic at some nice roadside stop while I nurse Luke, and we'll arrive at the hotel really late and she'll sleep on Marc's shoulder as he carries her into the hotel room, and she'll be SO excited when she sees all of the animals at the Calgary Zoo, and we'll buy her a little stuffed animal there that will be her favourite toy for the rest of the year...

I'm sure this won't happen, but I'd like to think it will, and Madeline will probably remember it something like that. I remember taking a big trip to BC once when I was about 7 years old. I remember going to Sears with my mom and buying an outfit for the trip -- dark blue jeans and a yellow shirt (that was size 3! -- as I remember it, anyway). I remember being woken up in the morning and being very sleepy and wearing that outfit as we started driving in the dark to Kamloops (I think we did it in one day too -- my dad was quite the man!). And that's pretty much all I remember about the trip. I think I remember something about the Enchanted Forest, but that's about it. But just the image in my head of that outfit from Sears makes me happy.

I wonder if my mom remembers it that way?!

Odd/Inappropriate Childhood Memories #1

Announcing a new feature at VanderMeander: Odd/Inappropriate Childhood Memories. My childhood is filled with (too) many odd or inappropriate actions mostly done by myself (just ask b-1), and some which I experienced, but had the good fortune to not have caused. So, I've decided to start this feature, which will make for easy posting, when I'm too busy to think of something deep or original. Perhaps I could have a moral to go along with each memory.

Odd/Inappropriate Childhood Memory Moral #1:
Do not daily expose your children to soap operas.

When I was a kid I dropped out of preschool/daycare (see story in O/I CM #2 to come), and so the days that were not spent at my mom's bookstore and dad's law office were spent at my grandparent's house -- a cute old home with green trim and the most amazing garden. My granny and I did a lot of snuggling in the big beige chair that was half broken and would squeak everytime we'd rock in it. We watched The Price is Right, Mr. Dress-up. I'd try to quickly skip past channel 8 when 100 Huntley Street would come on, lest I be subjected to an hour of that... And like clockwork my granny would watch The Young and the Restless everyday. I was always quite bored during this time and would play and roam around, but sometimes I'd watch with her and always wondered why she would, out of the blue, change the channel at certain times during the show.

However, it seems that she did not always change the channel in time, because one day while we were watching TV (I was probably about 5 or 6) I said, very innocently and sincerely, "Granny I love you" and then proceeded to start "necking" my granny like they did on the soaps. To which granny quickly pushed me off and said "Dixie, you shouldn't kiss like that..."

I don't know how many years it was until I realized what I had done. Probably around the same time I realized why she'd change the channel during The Young and the Restless!

Am I just wierd, or...

... did anyone else take notes during "Astroboy"?

You remember Astroboy, right? And at the end of the show Astroboy would give his report to the computer, but there would be an "error in the report" and you'd have to guess what mistake he made. Well, I could never figure it out, so at some point I started taking notes during the show to help me. I don't actually know if this even helped me find the mistake, but it did prove that I was quite the conscientious little 8 year old, with way too much time on my hands.

More McLaren -- On the Bible as Narrative

"The Bible is a story, and just because it recounts (by standards of accuracy acceptable to its original audience) what happened that doesn't mean it tells what should always happen or even what should have happened." (167, A Generous Orthodoxy)

Sometimes it's easy to see God in the Old Testament as doing some pretty scary things. But McLaren says "if God is going to enter into a relationship with people, then God has to work with them as they are in their individual and cultural moral development." (167)

He provides to good analogies that need to be considered before we write off the Hebrew God:

The first describes the origin of America -- land theft, broken treaties, ethnic cleansing, etc. And he asks the question whether God should forsake generations of Americans because of "the original American holocaust?... Wouldn't God's blessing of a nation so conceived imply an endorsement of the atrocities that were and are committed?" (168)

Now think about his second analogy for a minute:

"Consider our civilization today. Imagine (it's not hard) that a thousand years from now, in a world ravaged by side effects of the industrial revolution (global warming from fossil fuels, extinction of species, destruction of rain forests, pollution of water and air, nuclear contamination or catastrophe, etc.), our descendents look back on our era as the most destructive in human history. "How could God ever have blessed people who drove automobile, who heated their homes with energy derived from fossil fuels or nuclear energy, who through their taxes funded the creation of horrific weapons?" they'll ask. "Wasn't God's blessing of them a sign of approval of their destructive ways?" We would protest: But we didn't know! We didn't know how much damage we were doing. We were just trying to survive. It's how people lived in our day. And perhaps God would protest as well, "I didn't approve of all they did, but I loved them, and I wanted them to survive so that you could survive now, a thousand years later." (169)

My ever-wise brother-in-law, Andrew, said something in my May 20th post that somewhat links to what I'm talking about here:

"As far as "ideal" Christianity, I'm not sure "Christianity" as an ideal or an intellectual system is of any value at all. Apart from embodied and lived reality of the Church, Christianity is just another ideology among many. Christians have traditionally held after all that real truth is not an intellectual event or ethereal platonic ideal, but the person of Jesus--really, quite a profound notion."

McLaren says at the end of the chapter, "And it challenges us: to be truly biblical does not mean being preoccupied with some golden age in the ancient world and God's word to people back then. It means learning from the past to let God's story, God's will, and God's dream continue to come true in us and our children."

If you look at the Bible as narrative, you can see the grace (Jesus) aspect of God working the whole way through, blessing us in spite of ourselves, and trying to help us get to where we should be -- like Andrew said, not to some platonic ideal but to the living out of Jesus in this world.

Who decides?

Watching Madeline's little TV shows with her sometimes, I've begun to notice a strange phenomenon in children's television: animals that not only speak the same language, but whose language of choice is English.

However, I've been wondering lately who decides which animals get to speak. Sometimes animals lower in the food chain cannot speak -- like insects, etc. Sometimes animals higher on the food chain cannot speak -- like the lion just roars instead of saying "I'm going to try to eat you now", etc. This makes a marginal amount of sense, though I think if you're going to let the animals speak, you should really let them all speak.

There are a few shows, however, that just have no rhyme or reason to who can speak. For example in "Little Bear" (this has also happened in the "Berenstein Bears" & "Franklin"), Little Bear was begging his parents to get him a pet puppy. This strikes me as totally bizarre, since Little Bear's friends are a duck, a cat, an owl, and various other animals. It's not like his going to ask his friend "Cat" to become his household pet, so why can he have a puppy? Does this make sense to anyone?

Growing up

Madeline came walking out completely naked after watching a post-bath Dora the Explorer episode. We put a diaper on her and she milled about the living room for a bit, while Marc and I were having a sandwich on the couch. At some point she picked up a bit of exercise chord (the kind you get from the physiotherapist, etc) and started swaying back and forth and hitting the mirrored closet door over and over again. She did this for quite some time, and once we noticed her, I said to Marc, "oh to be a kid again..." And we laughed and watched her hit the door and look in the mirror over and over and over...

It doesn't seem that long ago really. I still remember laying on the couch watching TV with my arm "relaxed" and sticking straight up in the air; and I remember when crawling under the table at Bonanza was not only a viable exit, but was perfectly acceptable. But then I realized that I'm not quite grown up yet. The marker for me for being "grown up" for the past few years has been when I am able to sit straight up in the pew for an entire church service without slouching down or putting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.

I wonder how long it will be before I grow up...?

Subjectivity in the Church

I just finished reading Brian McLaren's "A New Kind of Christian". I really enjoyed it.

One of my degrees is basically a Medieval (Church and Social) History degree, and one of the main things that I got out of that degree is that the church goes through cycles (quite Hegelian as a matter of fact). There have been times (too many, unfortunately) when the church has pursued affluence and political power. Then once that gets out of hand, it goes back to its roots in the New Testament, namely the "Vita Apostolica", the apostolic life: the lifestyle of the apostles.

I was telling Marc that I really appreciated McLaren's suggestions because he seems to be aware of his perspective/limitations, and is trying to draw from the best of all Christian traditions. I said I liked the idea of something "brand new" happening in the church because I'm getting tired of the self-interest and self-concern of the church today. Marc reminded me that Andrew (his brother) generally tends towards the Catholic and Orthodox churches because they have a long history and tradition. Now this is not the point of this post, and I know I'm oversimplifying McLaren and my dear brother-in-law.

But it got me to thinking... I wrote a paper for one of my philosophy classes in university about the "subjectivity of history". In it I basically looked at whether or not we can "know" an historical event better by being an eye-witness or by being removed from the event -- either in hearing an account from an eye-witness we know or even further, by studying it in history.

I'm not exactly sure what my final thesis was in that paper, but a major part of it was our natural inclination to say that the eye-witness would have the best account. And I disagreed that an eye-witness necessarily has the best account. There are a number of factors that influence his or her account -- proximity to the event (ie. in a large stadium, you may not hear what someone was doing or saying), distractions around the person (ie. a crying baby or having to go to the bathroom), and they do not know the long-term outcome of the event they witnessed.

I went on to say that as historians we may not have seen the event, but we can look at it through the eyes of many different people who did (if there are multiple eye-witness accounts). There are obvious setbacks (we may not have certainty about the cultural values, etc of the people) that a historian must, but we have advantages which an eyewitness does not. We can see the outcome of an even on individuals, society and the world in general, how it lead to other events, and on and on.

So last night, I thought, just because the Catholic and Orthodox churches' beginnings were in close proximity to the beginning of Christianity (at least relatively speaking), it does not necessarily mean that they have a better grasp of what Christianity in its "ideal" or even "first" form is to be like.

Just some things to think about. I'm not saying that the Catholic and the Orthodox churches don't have a grasp on these things, just that we need to recognize that other traditions may have an equal grasp as well, through reflection on those groups, even though they've come into existence later in history. And, of course, this is not to say that the Catholic and Orthodox churches are not reflective, either.

I guess what my real point is that we constantly need to be reflective and aware of our own perspectives and looking at ourselves in the context of others, society, and history.

Today I was brave

Today I got brave.

I did some yardwork. I moved a bunch of rocks in the yard with my bare hands, and didn't flinch to much at all of the little creatures underneath them (though there was some cringing). Crawled almost underneath the steps to reach a rock. I even weeded part of the garden without screaming every time I saw a worm. (Though I must say I stopped that last year -- but I still did it!!)

Then while supper was cooking, I did the dishes and poured a pot full of old soup and water into the toilet all by myself. I did not look at it, but I did dump it and flush it. Normally this is Marc's job, and he always says "come look!", and even the thought of just looking grosses me out. But today I did it.

I did all those things. Maybe tomorrow I'll be brave enough to buy "feminine products" in public.

... I doubt it.

Optometrist

Yesterday I went to the optometrist...
got a great new pair of glasses...
but was the breast exam really necessary?

Abortion and Eyebrows

Not that I wasn't paying attention to what Marc was saying last night when he was describing some different views on the abortion issue that we'd never thought of before (although it was 11:30 and I was trying to fall asleep), but the thing that I really took away from that conversation was this:

Why do those really long, stray hairs on men's eyebrows just appear one day, as if out of nowhere? They're usually close to a centimetre longer than the other hairs, but why don't we notice them before they hit that centimetre mark?

Good people

I just got home from a very nice baby shower for Luke, and with a whole lot of loot to boot!! It was a good evening.

I generally find showers kind of awkward, especially when I'm the one opening the presents. What if I get a double? How excited should one really be over an underwear shirt, etc.? Plus if it's a potluck shower (this wasn't -- just a whole lot of good brie!) then I feel bad for the people who brought the foods that don't get touched or very little is taken. But then I think, if they brought it, they must like it, so maybe they're glad to keep it for themselves. Or you could be like me and make something with the stuff that's been in your freezer the longest and that your family doesn't like anyway, so you already have negative feelings toward the food and don't care if others share your sentiments!

Anyway, back to the good people. It was nice to know that there are a group of people who have known me a long time and (still!) care about me and my family. And lately we've been meeting new people that, even though we've really just met, we click with and can engage in great and lingering conversations (over some fine home cookin' on both ends!). And there are even some people who we've only spoken with a few times and yet you can tell that they care about you... even enough to push your jam-packed grocery cart out to the car and load it for you! (Thanks Janet!!)

It's nice to be surrounded by good people.

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens... Huge, rising death tolls and toxic emissions"

One of my favourite things to do once the weather starts getting warmer in spring, is to have my afternoon nap (I am a new mom after all) with my bedroom window open and the blinds up and curtains back. I just love listening to the wind in the birch tree out front, the birds, even the cars going by. It's very calming and to me the whole world seems to be at peace, just because I'm cozy in my bed with the sun shining in.

Don't worry I'm not that naive... As Marc will attest to, I have a pretty strange morbid side to me. Often before bed at night I will say, "Marc stop and think for a sec... think what's going on in the world right now. How many people do you think are being mugged in New York city right now? I bet there's some woman walking down a dark street who's about to be attacked and raped. Think about all of the underaged prostitutes in Asia... about all the kids who've died of starvation in the past 5 minutes. Right now. Somebody probably died right now, and now... and now."

I do this in less depressing ways too. Elisabeth Hasselback (the co-host from the View who was on Survivor Australia) had her baby 2 weeks after Luke was born, so I felt like I had gone through my whole pregnancy with her, watching her belly grow, etc. I even cried when they announced that she had had her baby (post-natal hormones, I'm assuming. That and I missed being pregnant.) Sometimes I'd be up at night nursing Luke and I'd think, I wonder if Elisabeth is nursing her baby right now. Or in the evenings when Luke gets fussy, I think about all of the other people with newborns who are trying to keep them happy right then. Or I think about all the women who are in labour and I'm jealous because I love the whole labour, delivery, being in the hospital with the new baby experience.

I don't know, I guess I may think about things too much sometimes, but I think far too often we get caught up in our own little worlds and schedules and don't think enough about the things in the world going on right at that moment. Maybe this will explain it: After Marc and I watched Hotel Rwanda, I was especially moved because I remember hearing about it on the news when I was in high school. And now I think, I probably could have done something, maybe not much, but something! It's one thing to look back 5 years from now and say "oh wasn't that sad when such and such happened" and not be able to do anything about it because it's over.

We need to start thinking about right now and what we can do right now, instead of waiting for the situations to pass and our feelings of obligation to pass with it!

Happy Birthday, Dory... glad you're not a crack addict!

Today is my brother Dory's 31st birthday. Happy Birthday! I love you. And, yes, I'm glad you're not a crack addict...

Two nights ago I had a bizarre dream in which I and some unknown person were both (male) priests and bridesmaids at a wedding between Danny Devito, Diane Keaton and some other unknown person from PA, at which there were no rings, but rather large chewable vitamins were exchanged and eaten(!!). During the ceremony my brother Dory walked right up on stage and into a back room (all of this took place at my mom's bookstore) to put some sort of box away. When my brother came out the other priest referred to my brother's addiction to cocaine, Pepsi and meth. I remember thinking that this referrence did not seem appropriate in the middle of a wedding ceremony. However, upon further reflection (when I woke up) not much in the ceremony was appropiate at all...

I wonder what a dream analyst could do with that?!

Marc hates the "fine balance"

So, I've stopped plagiarizing Becky, and changed my banner's subtitle. I feel the need to have a more serious post before I go on with more of the goofy things that are going on in my head and the daily life stories that make for quick, easy, and comical posts. This blog will not be just a bunch of "today Junior did X" -- do not fear.

I chose that phrase because whenever I have philosophical discussions, I usually end up saying "well, it really is a fine balance", or "we just need to find that balance...". Marc hates it when I say that. I'm not completely sure why, maybe it's the cheesy nod and slow, condescending blink that (jokingly) goes along with the phrase.

But I am a Hegelian (anyone out there heard of the philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel -- shall I do my first ever poll, to find out?), so I tend to recognize that in each side of an issue there are bits of truth, and we just need to pull those bits out and come to a new understanding in the light of other perspectives. Shall I get deep and use words like "dialectic" and "being-in-itself"? Maybe not today... that could turn readers off as much as poopy diaper stories!

We do need one Hegel quote to start things off right, though:
"The True is the whole. But the whole is nothing other than essence consummating itself through its development. Of the Absolute it must be said that it is essentially a result, that only in the end is it what it truly is; and that precisely in this consists its natures, viz. to be actual, subject, the spontaneous becoming of itself." (p 11, The Phenomenology of Spirit)

I may not be a hard-core Hegelian, but something in his writing has always been intuitive with me. The idea that we need to recognize our perspectives, see our errors and our truths, draw from the experiences and perspectives of others in order to transcend our own viewpoint and slowly work to a (hopefully) better understanding of ourselves and existence.

That's why I added the thing about changing diapers: because each experience we have, no matter how mundane, can help us to have a better grasp of life if we allow ourselves to reflect upon it. Even, and often especially, kids can make us see truths that are around us everyday because of their completely fresh perspectives.

My 2 year old...

Madeline has been upstairs in her room "going to sleep" for 1.5 hours now. Luckily she never gets out of her bed until she knows naptime is done. However, for the past 25 minutes she's been whining and crying, and we've just let her cry.

For the past 10 minutes I've been organizing the laundry and the words "I'll give you something to cry about" have been repeating in my head... Not that I thought I'd never say those words, but I've just never been more tempted to say them than now.

I'm reminded of the immortal words of Roseanne Barr: "Now I know why some animals eat their young."

The Computer Age

I was just noticing during that last entry that there are keyboard shortcuts and Ctrl S = Publish.

Which means that Ctrl S = Trouble for Dixie.

I'm a fast typer and have written my fair share of papers, and usually after every sentence I inadvertantly hit Ctrl S to save my work. I guess I will have to learn Ctrl D for "Draft" saving...

As an aside, the first year we were married I was carrying a bunch of things in my hands to the office in our apartment in Regina. I slipped or something and everything that was in my hands fell on the ground. The first thing that came into my head was "Hit Ctrl Z! Hit Ctrl Z!" (which is "undo" in Microsoft Word). Bizarre that that's the first thing that came into my head. And I was actually annoyed that there wasn't a "Ctrl Z" button that I could press. Wouldn't it be nice sometimes?

Let's try this again ... for the first time

Well, of all my dumb luck, Blogger was down this morning when I attempted rather naively to do my first blog post ever. And let's not even talk about last night when I spent 1.5 hours on the computer waiting for VanderMeander to be created, with the icon swirling "Creating Blog..." endlessly, all to find out that if I had just signed in, it was already there.

So let's give it another go... and maybe without Marc's help, just to say I can.

Welcome to VanderMeander which will be my miscellaneous ramblings about daily life as a mother of two little kids and the wife of a husband who's as messy as a kid (sorry, Marc, I'll try to keep my negative remarks to a minimum), about the bizarre thoughts that swim through my head, and about the deeper philosphical and theological issues that I love to talk about.

So that is that. Read on if you wish. This could get interesting...




Or deathly, deathly boring.